


All the Wrong Reasons

by Elbeeinthewild



Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Complete, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Father-Son Relationship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23841133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elbeeinthewild/pseuds/Elbeeinthewild
Summary: When McGee returns to work after his and Delilah’s spur of the moment wedding, he finds Abby uncharacteristically quiet. McGee encourages her to talk and afterward, he sees himself, and a gift from Gibbs in a new light. AU, complete.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: Ep 7.10 Faith and ep 14.23 Something Blue. Minor references to events in other eps.
> 
> Author’s Note: IMO, it never made any sense to me that Gibbs would give such an intimately personal and sentimental gift to someone who in canon up to then, he was never particularly close to. Boo to ‘ooo-ahh moment’ plot devices that fall out of the clear blue sky like anvils, and character retconning by the writers. My take on it is different.
> 
> Alternate universe, because IMO, sometimes writer canon is better than show canon.

* * *

~Tony’s Old Apartment~ 

Abby covered her mouth to contain a soft giggle as Jimmy concluded the simple wedding ceremony with a sweet, and uniquely ‘Palmer’ finish.

“You should smooch.”

As McGee leaned down and reached out to kiss Delilah, the cuff of his white jacket rose just a bit higher on his wrist, revealing a watch she recognized immediately. Her eyes shot to Gibbs, whose full attention was on the bride and groom at that moment.

She quickly composed her features and pasted a smile back on her face, trying to hide the disappointment that set in. She hated feeling this way about her silver fox, but when it came to Tony and McGee it was far from the first time he’d given her cause. 

~Abby’s Lab, a few days later~

“Hey, Abs,” McGee greeted from the door, “you thirsty?” he asked, holding up a cup of Caff-Pow and waggling it temptingly.

“Not right now, thanks Tim,” Abby answered without looking up from her work. “You can leave it in the fridge; I’ll have it with lunch later.” 

McGee sighed as he changed direction for the fridge across the room. “Is everything okay, Abby?” 

She looked up finally, giving him a sideways glance as he put the drink in her fridge. Her eyes narrowed and he realized her gaze was on his left arm and hand, still extended and holding the glass door open. 

“Everything is fine, Tim” she answered blandly, turning back to her computer screen, “Thanks for the drink.” 

McGee left the drink inside, closed the door and moved to stand next to her. He placed a hand over hers on the keyboard, forcing her to stop work and listen. 

“Abs, I’m a married man now,” he began, trying for humor. “I know when a woman says she’s fine; odds are things are really _not_ fine, with a guy in her life the most likely reason.” 

He noticed her looking at his left hand again. _Oh boy…is that what this is about?_

Abby shifted uncomfortably and she refused to meet his eyes. She didn’t really want to talk about this. 

“Even Gibbs has noticed you’re quieter than usual, and you’ve been avoiding _me_ since the wedding,” he insisted. “I thought you were okay with me and Delilah.” 

Abby started, and her head jerked up so quickly, he flinched back. 

“ _What?_ ” She exclaimed in shock. “Of course I am! Why would you even _say_ that?” 

He held up the hand and wiggled his ring finger. “You keep looking at my hand.”

“That _isn't_ why!” 

Abby paled and looked away, annoyed with herself. He’d neatly maneuvered her into admitting something was wrong.

“Then what is it? If I’m wrong about the reason, tell me why.” 

Abby took a deep breath and a determined look stole over her features. “Have you told Tony about the wedding and Delilah's pregnancy yet?” 

“No,” McGee said, scratching his head and looking embarrassed. “I guess I kinda forgot about him in all the chaos once we decided to have the ceremony early.”

There sure was a lot of that going around, Abby thought unhappily. 

“Out of sight, out of mind, right?” she asked. 

Her tone was vaguely accusing and he didn’t understand it. “Are you upset that I didn’t think to invite him? I _did_ think about it; but there was no way he could’ve gotten here, Abs,” McGee explained. “We’re doing a Skype call later; I’m telling him all our good news then if it makes you feel any better.” 

“All the wrong reasons,” Abby mumbled under her breath.

“What?” He didn’t understand what she meant by that. 

She looked into his eyes and managed a small smile. “He’ll be so happy for you both.” Then her eyes dropped to his left hand again.

“Are you still going to be wearing that when you call him?” She asked pointing at the watch on his wrist.

_This is about the watch?_ He wondered. “I guess, why?”

“Can I see it?” Abby asked, wanting to confirm what she suspected. 

McGee frowned in confusion, but unclasped the watch and handed it to her.

She was sure this was the same watch. “It’s Gibbs’, right?” Abby asked as she delicately ran her fingers over the old crystal and looked at the band. McGee gave an affirming nod and she asked, “Did he tell you the story of the watch?”

McGee nodded. “He said his mother gave it to Jackson when they got married, and Jackson gave it to Gibbs when he married Shannon. Why?”

Abby turned the watch over and frowned.

McGee looked on with growing confusion as Abby ran a thumb over the ‘ _Breathe, Tim’_ inscription and dabbed at her watering eyes. “Very appropriate, considering you were such a babbling, nervous wreck,” she reminisced, lips curled in a teasing smirk. 

“Yeah, I know,” he agreed, with a smile in return. He wanted to know what was going on with Abby, though. “Please tell me what it is about this watch that upsets you, Abs.” he prompted. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything at first,” she replied hesitantly, handing the watch back to him. “But I really think you should know.” Decisive now, she continued. “Do you remember the year Jack came from Stillwater to visit at Christmas time?” 

“Well, that was seven or eight years ago. But yeah, I do,” McGee recalled. “After the case wrapped, we surprised Gibbs on Christmas by bringing over a holiday pot luck dinner. Everyone made something; even Tony.” 

Abby gave him a sharp look at the way he mentioned Tony’s name. “Of course he did; it _was_ Jack and Tony’s plan after all. Most of it anyway.” 

Abby frowned as McGee just shrugged dismissively. She took a deep breath to dispel the annoyance Tim’s response prompted. She needed to keep her emotions in check if she wanted him to have an open mind and not become defensive. 

“Anyway,” she continued, “You, Ducky, and Ziva had to leave early to keep holiday plans you’d already made before we planned the last minute dinner,” she reminded him. “Tony and I hung out, and volunteered to put away leftovers and clean up the dishes so Gibbs could spend some more time with Jack before he went back home.” 

“I remember,” McGee replied, unsure of the significance of the event in _this_ particular moment. “But what’s that got to do with why you’re upset _now_?” 

“ _Everything,_ Tim. That’s when Gibbs got the watch from Jack, not when he got married,” Abby answered. “I was there.”

McGee gave her a confused look. What reason would Gibbs have for telling him a different origin for the watch…and did it really matter? “So?” He asked, an impatient edge creeping into his voice. 

“I’m going to tell you a story…,” Abby began. “About what happened after you three all left…”

~.~


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Finally, this story is complete. I posted the first chapter in April and had most of the rest outlined and partly drafted. A wrist injury sidelined me and put me in a cast from elbow to fingers, making writing difficult if not impossible. Our unwelcome visitor COVID had come calling and suddenly I was 'mission essential'. Between work and a whole laundry list of other things, I lost the time and inclination to write for a while. Then when I took up this story again, the muse had switched gears on me, which led to much angst-ing and re-write. Seems I've recovered enough mojo to wrap this up. I hope you enjoy it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~Flashback~

Gibbs’ House, Christmas 2009

Abby left the upstairs powder room in a rush to rejoin the others downstairs, bumping straight into Jackson Gibbs as he exited the guest bedroom.

“Jack!” Abby exclaimed, reaching out to steady the older man, startled at his sudden appearance in the hall. _Now I know where Gibbs get that from_ , she thought with an internal giggle. “I am so sorry! Are you alright?”

“No harm done, Miss Abby,” he replied, gently turning her toward the staircase. “Will you join me in the living room?” I’d like to show you something.”

“Ooh, intriguing,” she teasingly replied, looping her arm in his as they walked downstairs together.

Jackson guided her to sit next to him on the old plaid sofa. “I was hoping to talk to you and Tony alone again.”

Abby could hear Tony and the team in the kitchen, but wondered where Gibbs went. Abby looked around uncertainly as she asked, “You wanted to talk to Tony too?”

Jackson seemed to understand her discomfort. “Don’t worry, Leroy’s gone out to the garage to refill the buckets of firewood…,” he told her. “And Tony seems to be avoiding me after Leroy’s little hissy fit.”

The relaxing atmosphere away from NCIS and presence of Gibbs’ charming father had been a temptation neither she nor Tony could ignore. While Gibbs was chatting with Ducky and the others earlier, she and Tony quizzed Jack relentlessly. He enjoyed talking about his son, and indulging their curiosity about Gibbs’ younger years.

It had been Jack’s unsolicited story about another holiday gathering years before, that changed his son’s demeanor from open and relaxed to tense and glowering. As fate would have it, Gibbs returned to the living room in the middle of Jack telling them about Shannon and Gibbs’ return to Stillwater for Kelly’s first Christmas.

Suddenly angry, and convinced Tony was to blame for the painful topic coming up, he’d put an abrupt stop to the storytelling. Unwilling to defend himself, stinging inside and out from a harder than usual head slap, Tony chose to take the high road and defuse Gibbs’ anger by retreating. Subdued and hiding his own hurt feelings, Tony escaped his mentors’ glare and cutting remarks by joining the others in the kitchen. He’d been avoiding Jack ever since.

“I didn’t mean to get Tony in trouble with him,” Jack said regretfully. “I’ll make sure Leroy knows it was me that brought it up, not Tony.”

“I’m sure Tony is fine and knows Gibbs isn’t really angry with him,” Abby said. She knew she wasn’t being entirely truthful, because Tony would _absolutely_ be thinking Gibbs was still angry with him, unless he saw some sign to indicate differently. She often wondered what traumas lurked in Tony’s formative years how it helped mold him into the walking contradiction he was today. Tony could be both aloof and needy, insecure and sometimes arrogant. He could be an insensitive, shallow bore one minute and full of empathy, kindness, and compassion the next.

His Christmas gift to Dolores yesterday was proof of that. Expecting a lame gag gift, the woman had been surprised and delighted by the Knee High Cherry Pie doll. She was touched not just by the thought put into selecting a gift for her, but the lengths Tony had gone through to find it. Abby suspected that Tony had earned a staunch friend and ally in HR as a result; one more person who caught a glimpse beyond Tony’s intentionally superficial veneer and thought better of him for it.

She knew Gibbs had always seen those things in Tony. The real man behind the mask; a kindred spirit with whom he had much in common. In Gibbs, Tony found what he’d always been missing, a mentor and father figure who actually gave a damn about him. When Gibbs lost his cool with Tony, it cut deeply even if he never showed it. Still, she knew Tony would prefer Gibbs remain angry with him rather than risk causing a resurgence of hard feelings between father and son.

“I think he was more caught off guard by you talking about Shannon and Kelly,” Abby guessed. “He doesn’t talk about them to us; not _ever_ ,” she added, her voice lowering to almost a whisper.

Jackson stared in surprise. “Never?”

Abby gave a sad headshake. “Ducky, Tony, and I have known Gibbs longer than anyone here, and we didn’t even know about his family until a couple years ago.

“Hmmm.” Some things never changed, Jackson thought. His son still bottled up his emotions, hoarded his pain inside until something triggered a release, which was often in the form of an angry outburst directed at those closest to him. He’d been like that since his mother died. It was a shame none of them seemed willing to call his son out for his behavior, especially Tony, who’d been the target for his son’s unwarranted wrath today. He had no such reservations himself, and vowed to bring it up later.

“Enough of dwelling on my son’s churlishness,” Jackson said firmly.

Abby grinned and blew out a relieved breath, happy at the change in topic. She nodded and gave a little exuberant bounce on the sofa cushion. “Yes; you said there was something you wanted to show me?”

Jack reached into his pocket and as he pulled something small out, her eyes caught a glint of metal. He uncurled his fingers to reveal a watch, and quite an old one if she were to guess.

“Oh, it’s lovely! It’s antique, isn’t it?” she asked, leaning over to admire the simple, elegant timepiece.

“Sure is,” Jack smiled back at her. “The band has been replaced a couple times over the years, but the crystal and case are original. It was my grand pappy’s; a retirement gift from the railroad. When I was born in 1928, he engraved it with my birth date and gave it to my father. When Ann and I were blessed with Leroy, my father passed it to me.”

He turned the watch over so she could see the worn, but still readable engraving. It simply said ‘Son’ with a date beneath.

“Ooo, now I know your birthday, Jack,” she teased.

“Guess I can’t lie about my age anymore, can I?” he replied with a wink. Then his demeanor turned serious as he continued.

“I brought this for Leroy. I’d always intended him to have it, but before his girls died, well…” Jack paused, unable to speak for a moment. Abby laid a sympathetic hand on his forearm in silent encouragement.

Jack swallowed heavily and found his voice again. “Anyway, I thought there would be plenty of time. Then we had our falling out. Now that we’ve reconciled, I’ve been thinking about it again, but not sure if he would welcome such a sentimental gift from me.” He shrugged, “I guess I’m looking for a little reassurance from someone who knows him better than I do after spending the better part of two decades not speaking.”

Abby was touched at being brought into Jack’s confidence and oddly flattered at being asked about the idea of giving the watch to Gibbs as a gift.

“You’re still his father. You and I both know Gibbs doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, or talk about his feelings. For him, actions speak louder than words. He shows his feelings in subtle ways, you have to know how to look,” Abby explained.

Complicated things, fathers and sons, she thought. Ziva told her when she asked Gibbs why he didn’t tell anyone Jack was coming; he’d said he wasn’t sure his father would actually show up. From Jack’s hesitance and Gibbs’ grouchy attitude today, it seemed they were on just as uncertain ground with each other as Tony often felt with Gibbs.

“He’s looking for reassurance too. You know, Gibbs admitted he wasn’t sure you were really coming until you arrived. He’s glad you’re here and grateful to have you in his life again. I think he’d be happy to have the watch,” she assured him.

“Well, I guess it’s settled then,” Jackson smiled.

She clapped her hands together excitedly as Gibbs opened the front door and carried two buckets of wood inside. Jack quickly closed his hand over the watch and shoved it back in his pocket.

Gibbs gave them both a side eyed look as he placed the buckets next to the hearth. “Do I even want to know what have you two been up to?”

Abby rose and smoothed her skirt. She grinned back at Gibbs unrepentantly while walking toward the kitchen. “You will...all in good time, bossman.”

~.~

Gibbs was going to have food _for days_ , Abby thought to herself. She placed the last of the leftovers in the refrigerator and joined Tony, who was filling the sink with water to wash the dishes. The rest of the team left and it was just the two of them in the kitchen now. They turned to watch as Gibbs came in and pulled a set of car keys out of a kitchen drawer.

Tony recognized them immediately and his eyes lit up. “You and Jack taking the Challenger out for a spin now, Boss?”

“Yes we are, and no you can’t go,” Gibbs said, neatly heading Tony off before he could ask.

“But…,” Tony protested.

“You can go some other time. Besides, you two volunteered to stay and clean the kitchen, so…clean.”

“Sure Gibbs,” Tony said agreeably, then turned back to the sink.

Abby caught the crestfallen look on his face and glared at Gibbs, knowing Jack had invited Tony for a ride in the classic car earlier. Gibbs gave her a glance and a shrug in return, before leaving them alone with stacks of dirty dishes.

“I think Jack must have forgotten to mention he invited you, Tony,” she offered.

“I’m sure that’s it,” he answered with a nod, before going to work. Tony’s walls were still up, just like earlier. Before the rest of the team left, Tony joked and bantered as usual, almost flawlessly hiding his upset and insecurity over Gibbs’ earlier snappishness. Maybe the others did, but she hadn’t missed the shadows that darkened those normally sparkling green eyes.

She observed him as she rinsed and dried dishes. Outwardly, Tony appeared unaffected. Though his calm, composed Teflon Tony-mask was firmly in place, there was no doubt in her mind he was feeling rebuffed, and not for the first time today.

While her mind pondered the inner workings of two of her favorite people, Tony continued to hide his own inner turmoil, mechanically washing dishes and handing them over for her to rinse. He’d been quiet too long and that was usually not a good sign.

“Tony?” she prompted softly.

Tony didn’t respond. Lost in his thoughts, he absently handed over another soapy dish.

Abby stuck a hand under the running faucet, and flicked water at Tony’s face and neck. She gave him an impish grin as he jumped in surprise and looked over.

“Abby! What was that for?” Tony scowled.

“You’re being too quiet,” she said, turning off the water. “What’s on your mind?”

Tony gave her a grin that looked a little too forced. “Nothing at all, Abs.”

Abby stuck a hand in the sink full of soapy water and splashed him again.

“Hey!”

Abby pointed a dripping finger at him. He knew her rules. “Never lie to Abby,” she reminded, giving an emphatic stomp of one booted foot.

Tony sighed as he wiped his face with a dishtowel and dabbed futilely at the wet spots on his shirt.

“I’m just thinking maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.”

“Why?” Abby asked in surprise. Gibbs and Jack seemed to be enjoying themselves and the company even if Gibbs was a bit cranky earlier. “Gibbs didn’t say that to you, did he?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

“No, but he’s never celebrated Christmas as long as I’ve known him. I think maybe Gibbs is mad about us convincing Jack to have this little get-together,” Tony admitted. “And maybe Jack was just being nice about going along with it.”

“Nah,” Abby disagreed. “Besides, I helped. You weren’t going to talk Jack into anything he didn’t want to do; just like his son,” she said. “If Gibbs were mad, we’d know.”

“He sure seemed mad when he heard us quizzing Jack earlier,” Tony disputed, a resigned look crossing his face.

“Gibbs does like to be the man of mystery, and we were messing with that,” Abby said sagely. She gave him an affectionate nudge with her shoulder. “Besides, Jack seems as curious about us as we are about them, you know?”

“Always the optimist, Abby.”

“And you’re worried for no good reason.”

Tony shrugged and looked a little less apprehensive, seemingly reassured by her view of the situation. “Okay.”

She dipped a hand in the water and splashed him again.

“That’s it,” said in mock anger. He plunged a hand in the dishwater. “You are in for it now…” he pulled out a glass full of water and held it up threateningly.

Abby gave him a wide-eyed, wounded look. “I was only kidding around.”

Just as Tony dropped his guard, Abby dove for the sink and pulled out a weapon of her own.

They doused each other repeatedly, and fought to refill their glasses in the sink, while trying to prevent the other from getting any more water.

With the flailing, uncontrollable laughing, and indignant shouts as soapy water hit home, neither noticed the rumble of the Challenger’s engine in the driveway, or the front door opening.

“What the hell is going on here?” Gibbs shouted over the din.

Abby and Tony jumped guiltily, sloshing even more water than they had already. They froze and then slowly turned to Gibbs with matching contrite looks.

“Sorry Gibbs,” they chorused in unison.

Gibbs’ laser blue eyes glared at them both then turned to Tony. “I don’t know what you two were thinking, but I want every drop of water cleaned up before I come back in here.”

Tony nodded quickly, and then noticed Jack just beyond the doorway behind Gibbs. He looked down at the floor as a mortified blush crept up his neck and into his face.

Abby shifted toward the basement to get the mop. She moved too quickly on the wet soapy floor and one boot skidded, sending her dangerously off balance.

Tony sensed the disaster coming and reacted instinctively as she began to fall, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her against his solid form.

Abby gripped Tony’s forearms tightly until she regained her feet, heart pounding and a little breathless. “Whew,” she wheezed. “Thanks Tony,” she said, stealing a glance over at Gibbs.

The angry features had softened into relief and pride as Tony’s quick reflexes prevented her fall. Tony held her until she recovered her balance, then his arms loosened and dropped to his sides.

Abby shivered as she stepped away from his warmth, looking down and grimacing at their drenched clothes. By the time they turned their attention back to the older man, the stony look was on Gibbs’ face again.

“I suggest starting with the floor,” Gibbs said pointedly, his voice as stony as his expression. He walked away, leaving them alone in the kitchen.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


	3. Chapter 3

A somber Tony starting wiping the cabinetry and counters dry while Abby retrieved the mop. She took care to tread more carefully on the wet floor. Tony remained quiet and grim looking as they worked, and finally she had to break the silence.

“Are you okay, Tony?”

“Never better,” he answered without meeting her eyes.

Abby scowled and poked him. “Try again, mister.”

Tony sighed. “Still think Gibbs isn’t mad at me, Abs? Leave it to me to screw up on Christmas, of all days.”

“Tony, it’s just a little water…you haven’t done anything wrong!

“Tell _Gibbs_ that.”

“Besides, I started it,” she insisted. “It’s all clean now and the floor needed mopping anyway.”

“Abs, I love that you’re trying to make me feel better, but Gibbs has hardly had a thing to say to me for hours. And Jack…if he didn’t think I was an idiot before, he probably does now.”

“He doesn’t think any such thing, he thought it was funny. Didn’t you see him grinning behind Gibbs’ back?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he shrugged. “Gibbs has reached his limit for company…at least mine, anyway. I’ll finish up here and just head out,” he said, taking the mop from her. “Go upstairs and change out of those wet clothes.”

Abby took that as a sure sign he was done talking about this. She sighed, making her way from the room as Tony opened the basement door and propped the mop over the rail to dry. With a sudden flash of insight, Abby suddenly understood the real problem.

Tony always had a natural curiosity about the most important people in his life. Unlike the rest of them, Tony had no real family. His father was alive somewhere but according to Gibbs they’d been estranged since Tony was a teenager. He thought of _them_ as his as family now and consciously or not, he sought reassurance the feeling was at least somewhat mutual. It explained why he wanted to spend part of the holiday with them and why making a good impression on Gibbs’ father meant so much to him.

What the others dismissed as Tony simply being irritating and nosy was actually the only way he knew how to show them they were important to him, part of his inner circle. When the others, _especially Gibbs_ , refused to see it for what it was or attribute any deeper significance to his actions, Tony felt rejected. He was far too proud to tell anyone how much it stung.

Gibbs needed to say something before Tony left. Determined to help, she went to the living room where Gibbs was kneeling in front of the fireplace tending the fire.

Jackson watched her, eyes twinkling with mirth as she put her hands on her hips and scowled down at Gibbs.

“You two done cleaning up your mess?” Gibbs asked without looking up.

Arms crossed and glaring down at him, Abby didn’t speak; just tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for Gibbs to acknowledge her.

Finally, he turned without rising from his crouch in front of the fireplace, and gazed at her impassively.

“What, Abby?”

Abby signed furiously, the rapid jabbing motions making it hard for him to follow. His brow wrinkled in confusion, not sure what she’d said, but positive she was not happy about something.

Gibbs waited as Abby rolled her eyes in exasperation. She began signing again, exaggerating each sign so even a beginner could have followed along. Yep, she was pissed all right.

“Gibbs, why are you being so growly with Tony?” she demanded. “I don’t know what this is about, but it’s not water on the floor. Tony is leaving because you have him thinking he’s screwed up Christmas for you and Jack.”

Abby stopped signing and spoke aloud.

“Fix it!” she hissed angrily, before turning and stomping upstairs.

Jackson winced, thinking back to the raised voices as his son investigated the ruckus in the kitchen a short while ago. He’d heard the subdued, contrite replies and began to second-guess the wisdom of the plan he’d hatched with the duo who now had Leroy’s dander up. He was even less sure what to think when a drenched Abby thundered into the room and proceeded to lay into Leroy using nothing but sign language. His uncertainty quickly turned to amusement. To think he’d assumed no one _ever_ let Leroy know when he’d gone too far.

He felt further reassured when Abby shot him a bright smile and thumbs up behind his son’s back as she ran upstairs, boots clomping and chains jingling the whole way. 

“She’s right, what’s gotten into you?” he asked after Abby disappeared upstairs.

Gibbs turned back to tending the fire, avoiding his father’s eyes as he answered. “Did you miss those two flooding my kitchen?”

“Don’t deflect son, you ain’t fooling anyone.” Jack challenged.

Gibbs heaved a resigned sigh, but didn’t reply as he rose from in front of the fireplace and rejoined his father on the sofa.

“Your foul mood started well before those two got up to a little harmless mischief in the kitchen,” Jack pointed out. “I don’t know what that little gal said,” he ventured, “but I know an unhappy woman when I see one.”

“I _did_ notice, dad.” Gibbs said with an edge of sarcasm.

“Well, what are you going to do about it?” Jack asked curiously.

“You heard Abby.”

“Yep, fix it. Get yourself off her shit list.”

“Dad!” he exclaimed, a little surprised at the language. Maybe Abby wasn’t the only one angry with him.

“What? It’s obvious you earned yourself a place there. I have a feeling Abby’s bad side is not where anyone wants to be.”

Jackson watched as his son’s eyes flicked toward the ceiling, tracking the sounds of Abby moving around upstairs.

“So, you want to talk about what got you all tied up in knots?” he prompted.

Gibbs’ jaw clenched. “Not particularly.”

“It’s the girls,” Jack ventured. When his son stared into the fire and didn’t answer, he knew he was right. “When they came up, that’s when your mood changed. Abby said you never talk about them.”

“No,” Gibbs replied quietly. “I suppose I don’t. It shouldn’t be too hard to understand talking about them; particularly this time of year isn’t exactly easy.”

“I know that, but how would _they_ if you never share anything with them? Abby said this is the first time any of them have been here for a holiday. Is that true, Leroy?”

“Yes; but only because they invited themselves,” Gibbs answered, sounding annoyed again.

Jackson snorted. "Oh, stop being a grouch, Leroy. This whole day was about those two wanting to do something nice for us.”

“They all wanted to ask you more questions about me, especially DiNozzo and Abby,” Gibbs complained, feeling a little defensive.

“That was more a chance opportunity, not the reason for the gathering,” Jack pointed out. “Anyway, what’s wrong with that?”

“Depends on what they wanted to know.”

Jack laughed. “A little bit of everything, I suppose. Mostly ‘young Gibbs’ stories. There isn’t anything I could tell them that would do any harm,” he chided. “Is there?”

“No, but maybe there are some private things I’d like to keep private, Dad.”

“You know it was me that brought the girls up, don’t you, son? Not Abby, and _not_ Tony,” Jack explained.

“I know _now_.”

“That explains why you smacked that boy’s head and gave him the sharp edge of your tongue earlier. What about later? What was the _real_ reason you were upset about the horseplay in the kitchen?”

Gibbs voice was barely audible as he shared the memory of walking in on Shannon and Kelly having a water fight in the kitchen, just as Tony and Abby had done earlier. None of them had any way of knowing he’d become overwhelmed with memories of past Christmases and his long-dead wife and daughter.

Jack shook his head. “Why do you need to be such a mystery to people you obviously care about?”

Gibbs arched a skeptical eyebrow.

“Don’t give me that pretend-cynical look,” Jack said, waving a gnarled finger at his son’s face. “Of course you care about them. Especially those two that stayed to wash your dishes just so we could spend more time together.”

“What’s with all of the interest in my team?”

Jack smiled at the obvious attempt to change the subject. “Oh, you try to hide it but I see they’re much more than that.”

“Do tell,” Gibbs said, both amazed and annoyed by his father’s perception.

“They’re a second family,” Jack asserted confidently. “You think I won’t approve?” 

“Something like that. We didn’t talk for years because I got the irrational idea you were replacing mom with the friend you brought to Shannon and Kelly's funeral. Seems hypocritical of me to do the same thing; replace them with a new family.”

Jackson gave his son a pointed look. “That’s equally irrational, you know.”

“It’s a gift, I guess,” Gibbs said dryly.

Jackson smirked back. “All kidding aside,” He began, “you aren’t replacing them. Ann, Shannon and Kelly will always be in our hearts. Adding new family members doesn’t change that. Do you think they wouldn’t want that for you?” he asked. “To have people in your life that you care about and care for you in return? You can’t deny you feel that way, even if you have such a hard time showing them.”

Gibbs shifted on the sofa and shrugged. Jackson recognized he’d pushed the envelope on his son’s willingness and ability to discuss moving on from those family tragedies. He wasn’t quite ready to banish those ghosts.

“Just tell me this. The three of us cooked up the plan for today because its Christmas, and family should be together at Christmas. Did I get it wrong?”

Gibbs hesitated, staring at his father for a long moment, seeing the uncertainty. He decided to answer truthfully. “No, Dad. You didn’t get it wrong.”

“Good,” Jack said, satisfied with the answer. “So what did Abby say when she was signing at you?” he asked.

“Abby was just reminding me that Tony has a bad habit of blaming himself for things that aren’t his fault. And that I have a habit of doing that to him too.”

Nearby, Abby heard her name and froze just as she started down the stairs off Gibbs’ living room. Gibbs and Jackson were talking about her.

“So I noticed,” Jackson replied with a note of disapproval.“He just wants to know more about a man he obviously admires a great deal.”

Abby tiptoed down a few steps, still hidden by the half wall. She adored Gibbs’ charming father and her curiosity was aroused. She hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, but they were talking about _her_ after all. Jack’s gruff voice drifted up to her, soft but audible.

“I know,” Gibbs admitted. He was glad he had Tony’s affection and loyalty. It just wasn’t his way to be demonstrative and outwardly return it. In this case, he’d find a way to reassure Tony. Abby was right, he’d treated Tony like crap and the younger man would be taking it to heart.

Gibbs sounded sad and regretful. Abby’s heart sank at the thought he might still be upset with them, but not saying so for his dad’s sake.

“You’re harder on him than any of the others,” Jack observed.

“Because he has the most potential, when he’s not acting like a goofball.”

“He’s a fine young man,” Jackson agreed.

“He’s smart and inquisitive. It’s what makes him damn good at his job. He’s the best agent I’ve ever worked with, and we’re lucky to have him.”

“That isn’t what I meant.”

“I know.” Gibbs smiled enigmatically.

“Alright then. I’m just saying, you should let him and the others in a little.”

“I’ll think about it Dad,” he answered, and then put the subject to bed for the moment. He had an intuition and insight that served him well when it came to getting to the heart of the matter at hand. He’d come by it honestly and now his father was doing the same to him. He had a feeling there was something behind it, he just couldn’t tell what.

“So, now that we established I was angry at the wrong person for the wrong reason, and I’m going to fix it as Abby said, can we talk about you now?”

“Oh, unlike my son,” Jack winked as he spoke, “I’m always up for a conversation about yours truly.”

Gibbs chuckled. “Of course you are. You still planning to head home tomorrow, Dad?”

“I’ve imposed long enough, and I’ve done most everything I came to do.”

“Dad, you’re not imposing. In fact, you could stay longer if you wanted, and…” Gibbs’ voice trailed off. He was worried about bringing up the traumatic event his father recently endured, but he carefully broached the subject anyway. “Well, I just want to be sure you’re okay going back to the store after what happened there; the shooting and all.”

Jackson mood sobered, but he patted his son’s leg reassuringly. “I’ll be fine now. It’s helped being here, talking and spending time with you and the young ones. I’m grateful you let me come visit.”

“I’m glad it helped. Just so there’s no question, you’re always welcome here, Dad.”

Jack inclined his head in gratitude. “Thank you, son.” He honestly had enjoyed the laughter, chatter and hijinks of the youngsters. He was reassured by their importance to his son. “I’m not going to be around forever, and it comforts me to know you’ve got people around who will be there for you.”

Gibbs gave his father a sharp glance at that. It had a ring of finality to it, and his mind turned to the most likely reason. “Dad…is something wrong with your health?”

“Nothing you don’t already know about. I didn’t say that to worry you, son. We had too many years of silence between us. I’m glad we put the hard feelings behind us before it was too late, that’s all. I wanted to give you something to mark the occasion.”

“Dad, you being here is enough. I didn’t need a gift.”

Jackson put reached into his pocket and closed his hand around the watch resting there. “This is something that means a lot to me; it’s sort of a family heirloom,” he explained. “I’d always meant you to have it. After we had our falling out, I put it away and forgot about it. Now, it feels like the time is right.”

Abby shifted closer to the wall, not wanting to interrupt an intimate moment between father and son. From everything she’d gleaned of the relationship between the two, those kinds of moments had been rare.

She dared a peek around the half wall and watched as Jackson passed over the antique watch he’d showed her earlier, and explained its origin to his son.

“This belonged to your great-grandfather. In 1928, he added the engraving and gave it as a gift to my father when I was born,” Jackson told him. Dad passed it to me when _you_ were born.”

Abby’s heart fluttered happily at the soft smile on Gibbs’ face as he studied the watch and turned it over to see the back.

Jackson watched his son’s reaction, hesitantly at first. Then joy filled him as he watched Leroy turn the old timepiece over and take in the simple engraving of ‘Son’ with his father’s birth date below.

“Thank you, Dad,” Gibbs said simply. He removed his own watch and replaced it with his father’s gift. He looked over to see the old blue eyes, so much like his own, full of love and pride.

“Always hoped _you’d_ have a son to give it to someday,” Jack mused, sounding a bit melancholy.

“Yeah,” Gibbs said wistfully. That time had come and gone. Then he looked out toward the kitchen where Tony was still working quietly. “I suppose in a way I do.”

“Yes,” Jackson agreed with a satisfied nod. “I suppose you do at that.”

On the stairs, Abby grinned broadly at what she overheard, and resolved to get Tony alone and tell him about it later.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


	4. Chapter 4

~Present, Abby’s Lab~

Abby watched McGee, gauging his reaction to what she’d told him. She could almost see the gears turning in that big brain of his, and the unwillingness to believe what he’d been told was a lie.

McGee stared down at the watch in his hand, examining it much more closely than he had previously. He’d been so proud when Gibbs gave it to _him_ , and that pride had overridden the need to study it in detail. Now Abby was implying Gibbs’ reasons for giving it to him were not what they seemed.

“And you’re saying you think _this_ is the same watch?” he asked. Maybe she was wrong; it had been almost ten years, after all. This had to be a different watch.

“I don’t think; _I know_ ,” Abby asserted. “Jackson showed it to me before he gave it to Gibbs. He replaced the original back cover to add the engraving for you, but it’s the same watch.” To her frustration, she could see he still wasn’t quite ready to believe her. “ _Look_ at it Tim; its decades older than something bought for Gibbs’ dad as a wedding gift would have been.”

“Something else was on the back originally?” McGee asked. He turned the watch over in his hand, noticing for the first time that the back was new, unlike the watch itself.

His brow furrowed now as he studied the watch back and Abby hesitated. She hoped that wouldn’t come up.

“Abby. What did it say?”

She told him. 

A dark look she wasn’t sure how to interpret flitted briefly across his face. “You said Jack showed it to you before he gave it to Gibbs. Does Tony know about the watch too?” he asked.

Abby nodded. “I told him about Jack and Gibbs’ conversation later. It was plain to see by the look on Tony’s face it that the thought of Gibbs giving him that watch meant the world to him,” she explained. “Gibbs was afraid of damaging it at work, so he only wore it a couple times. Even so, Tony mentioned he managed to catch a look at the watch, so I’m sure he’d remember it if he saw it again.”

“Gibbs promised this to Tony?”

Abby shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know if they ever talked about it. It was obvious from the conversation I overheard that he intended to give it to Tony at some point, and Jack encouraged the idea.”

“Why would Gibbs have felt the need to lie to me about it?” He asked, the feeling of being misled growing stronger.

“If I had to guess, saying it was a wedding gift originally would make you more comfortable with accepting it.”

Not to mention that even though the relationship between he and Tony seemed so irreversibly broken, the ‘son’ sentiment was probably something Gibbs hadn’t meant to convey to McGee, Abby thought. She’d keep that bit of speculation to herself and see if McGee made the connection on his own.

“Do you see why I think its best Tony doesn’t know you have this watch?”

McGee’s eyes hardened as something else occurred to him. “Do you think he intentionally meant to hurt Tony by giving the watch to me?”

The thought made him ill. He wasn’t sure if it was on Tony’s behalf or his own; that Gibbs might have used him that way.

Abby was unwilling to speculate aloud, but the thought _had_ crossed her mind. Gibbs had at times, fostered an unhealthy kind of competition between McGee and Tony that set one against the other. It wasn’t done maliciously, at least not _always_ , but was one of the things she disliked intensely about the way he used to run his team. Now…after watching the deterioration of the bond between the two men, and the way finally Tony left, who knew?

“Only Gibbs can answer that,” she shrugged.

McGee snorted. “You expect me to _ask_ him?”

“Not unless you care to know why he lied about it,” she answered. “And he _did_ lie. If that were part of why he gave it to you, would you really want Tony to know it? You accepted the gift at face value, there was no reason not to. I’m only asking you not to rub it in Tony’s face that Gibbs gave it to you.”

Tim was better at not wearing his heart on his sleeve these days, not letting every emotion show on that boyish, expressive face. He’d been around Tony and Gibbs too long and there wasn’t anyone better to learn from about masks and keeping things hidden. Still, his technique was nowhere near as perfect as theirs was, and she’d always been able to read him. She saw something she recognized.

Abby inhaled sharply at the smug expression. “You _were_ going to brag to him about it, weren’t you?”

McGee’s face flushed with guilt. “What do you mean?”

She unwittingly hit on something else she’d long suspected. He was going to do exactly that. Her disbelief morphed into anger with Gibbs and McGee _both_. Feelings she’d been suppressing since Tony left raged to the forefront of her mind.

“Did you feel good about accepting it because it cemented how completely you’ve taken Tony’s place in everyone’s hearts and minds?” she demanded, already knowing the answer. “In Gibbs’ especially?”

“I am _not_ trying to replace Tony,” McGee insisted, but the color in his cheeks deepened.

“You can’t even admit it, can you? That subconsciously or not, that’s _totally_ what you’ve been doing.” _And Gibbs is letting him do it_ , she thought to herself. 

“Abby, you’ve got it all wrong,” he disputed; irritated she could read him so well.

“No, I don’t think I’m wrong. You were always transparent when it came to your resentment and jealousy of Tony’s rapport with Gibbs.”

He paused, knowing there was a kernel of unpleasant truth in her accusation, and being called out made him defensive. It was true, he had been jealous once. As time passed, his and Tony’s relationship matured, and those feelings had mostly subsided. Mostly.

“Not anymore,” came out before he could stop it. His reply sounded just as vindictive to him as it must sound to her.

“I can’t believe you just said that.” Abby’s pale green eyes sparked with outrage. “You know I love you; you’re one of my best friends, but I am really angry and disappointed in you right now.”

Her voice was deadly quiet but her eyes were fiery. Each soft word was like a punch in the gut. Only Tony could cause so much tumult without even being here, he thought uncharitably.

Abby’s eyes turned a flinty grey color when he didn’t offer a defense of his harsh words. Just like that, she let go of her earlier resolve to keep her emotions in check.

“There’s no need to be jealous _now_ , is there? Before, Tony had what you wanted and you always felt like the little brother who felt he could never measure up to the eldest. You were happy to see Tony become the prodigal, weren’t you?” Abby asked, venting her anger and sadness about Tony’s abrupt departure, and the loss of her longtime friend to a job and life in another city. “Did you take satisfaction in seeing Gibbs’ heir apparent fall from grace?”

Tim snorted in derision.

“You don’t think that’s what he was?” Abby challenged. “You’re wrong. Before Gibbs got hurt, it was always going to be Tony that inherited Gibbs’ team and Tony _knew_ it. You didn’t think Gibbs had room in him to care about you both…he should have to choose so you could feel more important?”

“Gibbs made those choices all on his own, without any help from me.”

Abby laughed harshly. “That’s right; Gibbs got hurt and some switch flipped in his messed-up brain. You were keeping your head down waiting in the wings and with every day that passed, Gibbs made it more impossible for Tony to stay. Maybe you even secretly enjoyed watching Gibbs turn on Tony like a rabid dog that last year,” she accused. “Was it karma for all the times you felt Gibbs favored Tony over you?”

“Abby…” he began.

She steamrolled over his objection, voice cracking with pent up emotion. “You have to show everyone _you’re_ the favored son now, don’t you? You took over Tony’s desk and his job. You don’t even care whether you earned it or if you got it by proxy. You even guilt-tripped Nick into giving up Tony’s apartment so you could have _that_ too.”

McGee flushed guiltily once again, and it didn’t escape Abby’s notice.

“You’re Tony 2.0 now, right? You have to be thinking after taking his place in Gibbs’ mind, along with all those things that used to be Tony’s, the watch is the cherry on top, right?”

Abby’s loyalty toward Tony and anger on his behalf made him resentful.

“Whether or not you believe it, life goes on without Tony here.”

“Oh, don’t I know it,” Abby shot back. “You moved on all right, and now you’ve got the ultimate ‘one up’ on Tony,” she added bluntly. “You wanted him to see the watch just so he’d know how completely he’d been replaced.”

“Abby, I’m not going to lie, there were times I felt that way about him; I mean he teased and hazed me off and on for years. While I didn’t always understand or appreciate his methods, I see how it helped me become a more confident, well-rounded agent.”

“How nice of you to acknowledge that _now,_ so long after he’s gone. When you first came to us, you were so intimidated by Gibbs, and every other field agent in the building. You were a stuttering, gullible newbie who could barely have a coherent conversation with Gibbs,” Abby recalled. “If it hadn’t been for Tony taking responsibility for you as his probie, you wouldn’t have lasted a year on the team.”

McGee cringed at the reminder of how green and inexperienced he’d been when he transferred to Gibbs’ team from Norfolk. Was this really about those old petty resentments and jealousies he harbored when it came to Tony? He’d worked hard in the wake of his friend’s sudden transfer, determined to show Gibbs he’d earned Tony’s spot even though Torres had more years in NCIS than he had. His old insecurities were showing, and Abby was calling him on it. He wasn’t ready to admit she was right.

“I haven’t felt that way for a long time. He’s one of my best friends.”

Abby crossed her arms and glared. “Interesting how you treat one of your best friends. Denial doesn’t become you.”

“I’m not to blame for Tony leaving, you know.”

“No, _Gibbs_ is. Still when Gibbs started treating him like dirt, you didn’t care enough to say or do anything, much less offer anything in the way of support. Way to be a friend, Timmy,” Abby said. Her eyes misted over, but she wouldn’t let the tears fall. “Isn’t it enough for you that he’s gone now?”

McGee remembered the day when things between Tony and Gibbs finally reached a boiling point. Gibbs turned his infamous temper on Tony one time too many. He and Bishop watched in shock and no small amount of awe, as Tony stood tall and moved from behind his desk, right into Gibbs’ personal space. For a change, Tony used every millimeter of his slight height advantage, looked Gibbs straight in the eyes, calmly and coolly told him to go to hell.

Gibbs had stiffened and his hands had clenched into fists. For a moment, McGee thought Gibbs might actually throw a punch. Tony’s eyes narrowed at the aggressive posture, then he announced he was taking a sick day and walked out, leaving a furious Gibbs ranting in the bullpen. By the time they all came in the next morning, Tony’s desk was empty, with no sign he’d sat there for fifteen years. They found out later he’d transferred to Homeland Security and out of DC after being poached away by Tom Morrow, NCIS’ former director.

“If Tony considered _me_ a friend, why didn’t he ever say anything to me about any of this?”

Abby rolled her eyes at the deflection. “Isn’t it obvious? Because you still had to work with Gibbs and he didn’t want to put you in the middle of their issues. Part of the reason Tony left was so things would be better for you and Bishop.”

“How do you know all this?”

“He had to talk to _someone_ , and it was never going to be you. Not about this. Do you still think Tony is a self-absorbed jerk? Check a mirror. Now that you know the truth behind that watch,” she began, gesturing at his wrist, “what do you intend to do about what you know?”

“I…I’m just not sure right now, Abby. It’s a lot to take in,” McGee replied absently.

“So think about it, McGee. Be honest with me, and yourself. In our little makeshift family, who once filled the role of Gibbs’ surrogate son? These days, you two like to pretend Tony never existed, and he deserves better from you both.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


	5. Chapter 5

~Two weeks later~

McGee entered a quiet, dark apartment. He tossed his jacket on the recliner and walked softly to the bedroom door to peek in on Delilah. She tired easily at this late stage in her pregnancy and had turned in early. Seeing she was resting comfortably, he returned to the chair and sat, alone with his thoughts.

Two weeks had passed since _that_ visit with Abby in her lab. He’d been dwelling on her accusations and sleeping poorly. Things turned contentious when she correctly deduced that he planned to brag to Tony about Gibbs giving him his watch as a wedding gift.

He’d carried on with the planned call to Tony that same night, telling him about the wedding and impending fatherhood, as he’d told Abby he would. He didn’t mention the watch. He was ashamed of the petty, mean-spirited action he would have taken without Abby’s intervention. He felt even worse after Tony warmly and sincerely congratulated him on his marriage and the twins arriving soon.

Abby had been cool toward him for a few days, but finally thawed on noticing he no longer wore Gibbs’ watch at work. Things just weren’t right in the world when Abby was angry with you, and he almost regretted pushing her into an explanation for her standoffishness after the wedding.

They often joked about her being Gibbs’ favorite but McGee knew how fond Gibbs once was of Tony as well. Even if the older man had never openly said so, and Tony himself doubted it. Gibbs held back expressing his paternal side, rarely showing the affection and regard he held for Tony, while freely displaying it with Abby, and now that Tony was gone _, him_. He could only guess at the reasons for the difference.

Things changed in the year before Tony finally left. Gibbs had returned to duty after his shooting a different man. His personality, the way he dressed, and most especially the way he interacted with Tony. He was irrationally sullen, angry, and impatient. Then there was the intentionally cruel treatment that had he and Bishop laying low to make sure they didn’t draw Gibbs’ ire onto themselves.

Gibbs’ behavior mystified him, but he didn’t question it. Abby was right; they’d done nothing as the older man made Tony’s life a living hell for no apparent reason. Looking back, he felt like a coward for pretending Gibbs’ behavior was not outside the norm. Bishop hadn’t been with them long enough to know better but _he_ did. He’d closed his eyes to Gibbs’ mistreatment of Tony until things finally reached an explosive breaking point.

Everything Abby had told him made him more introspective about himself and wary of Gibbs’ motivations. He pulled the jacket onto his lap and dug the watch out of an inner pocket. He couldn’t quite bring himself to wear it now, but carried it as a reminder that he hadn’t decided what to do about it yet. He studied the inscription on the back.

After what Abby revealed about the watch’s origin and original inscription, the gift and sentiment behind it was tarnished now. He looked around at the apartment that had once belonged to Tony. In spite of the décor changes and customizations to accommodate Delilah’s disability, Tony’s presence still lingered. Now winning the apartment away from Nick was tarnished too, and he felt a flash of resentment toward Abby and Tony. It was exactly the attitude she’d called him on.

He shoved the watch in his pants pocket, as if that would re-bury all the unpleasant revelations Abby had forced him to face about his relationship with, and attitudes toward Tony. That long ago Christmas, the first time he’d been invited to Gibbs’ home, he’d been surprised to learn that Abby and Tony were frequent visitors there. They even spent the night sometimes and both had clothes in the guest bedroom. He’d even overheard Gibbs admonishing them about not letting their mess creep down the stairs.

He’d enjoyed the dinner, team bonding and chatting with Gibb’s dad, but could see now everything important that happened that Christmas happened when either he was out of the room, or after he left. More moments between the Gibbs men, Abby, and Tony, where even if he’d been there, he would have been on the outside looking in. He hated the feeling even though it was no longer the case.

Yes, he had felt vindicated that he finally supplanted Tony’s place, but now it seemed like a hollow victory.

As Abby had tried to point out, he’d always had his own place on the team and with Gibbs. His jealousy was unwarranted and his behavior said a lot more about his own insecurities than Tony’s standing with Gibbs.

He could feel the weight of the watch in his pocket as he considered what to do about what he’d learned. He could let things lie as they were. Tony need never know about Gibbs’ gift. Having largely come to terms with his own issues with Tony, he wasn’t even sure he still wanted to keep it, given the circumstances.

He leaned back against the chair and sighed deeply. Before he could make that decision, he had to hear the truth from Gibbs.

~.~

McGee opened Gibbs’ basement door and slowly descended the stairs. He braced himself for the conversation ahead and wondered which way it would go. He wasn’t eager to experience the wrath of Gibbs turned on himself, even briefly, and wondered how Tony managed it for so long.

Gibbs came into view, seated at the workbench and sanding a small, intricately carved piece of wood.

Gibbs acknowledged him without looking up from his sanding. “McGee.”

“Hey Gibbs,” McGee answered. He walked over to the opposite side of the bench and fidgeted while watching Gibbs work. Now that he was here, he was suddenly unsure how to broach the subject.

Gibbs’ eyes flicked up at him, taking in the nervous tells in an instant. “Something on your mind, McGee?” he prompted blandly.

_Point of no return,_ McGee thought. “Yes,” he said simply. Rather than explain further, he pulled the watch from his pocket, leaned forward and gently laid it on the table in front of Gibbs.

The older man froze for a second, then laid down the small piece of carved wood and sat up straight, finally giving McGee his full attention.

McGee fought not to squirm as Gibbs gave him that inscrutable stare. The one where you hadn’t the first clue what he was thinking, and that was just the way he liked it. He was frustrated at his inability to read Gibbs after all these years.

Tony and Gibbs had always had a tangible connection, if indefinable to outsiders. He _got_ Gibbs in a way none of the rest of them did. It had been almost uncanny at times the way he could read the older man and respond in a way that didn’t require verbal communication. When it came to Gibbs, Tony read between the lines like a master, at least until the very end.

He might not be able to read Gibbs like Tony once had, but he’d come this far. Gibbs’ silence wasn’t going to work for him now.

Gibbs’ expression changed into a puzzled look. “Well?”

Was Gibbs going to continue the ruse? Steeling his resolve, he inclined his head at the watch and asked, “Is there anything you neglected to tell me about that?”

“Like what?” Gibbs asked. His face and voice gave nothing away.

Annoyed by Gibbs’ apparent insistence on pretense, he decided to admit he already knew the truth.

“Like how the watch was never a wedding present.”

A flash of irritation crossed Gibbs’ face. “Abby,” he stated simply.

“Abby,” McGee confirmed. “She was acting strangely once I came back to work after the wedding. I think you noticed it too.”

Gibbs’ expression darkened as he recalled the few days where Abby’s natural exuberance had all but vanished and she was decidedly standoffish. Eventually, she seemed fine and so he hadn’t questioned it. He hadn’t linked her off mood to the watch at all, since she hadn’t been in the room when he gave it to McGee.

“In her defense,” McGee began, “She saw me wearing it but wasn’t going to say anything. I got rather insistent on wrangling the problem out of her.”

Gibbs nodded in understanding. He should have known Abby would recognize the watch, even after all this time.

“And you feel like I owe you an explanation?”

“You don’t _owe_ me anything, Gibbs. I just happen to think I deserve to know why you would lie to me about where watch came from.”

Gibbs considered McGee. He was nervous but standing his ground, a stubborn set to his features. He seemed determined to stay until he got some kind of answer. The problem was Gibbs’ own feelings on the matter were mixed, and he wasn’t sure what to tell him. He’d start with something that _was_ actually true.

“I wanted to give you something special on your wedding day, McGee. Something that would bring you out of the manic, basket case setting you were stuck on. The gift was sincere.”

“I appreciate that, Gibbs. But that wasn’t the question.”

Gibbs could see beneath the surface show of strength, that McGee was honestly distressed and confused by his deception. Yet another error in judgment coming back to haunt him. It was also another that might affect the dynamics of his rebuilt team. A team that had finally found some semblance of stability in the wake of Tony’s transfer.

Gibbs slumped a bit on his stool. “No; the question is why I didn’t just tell you the truth about the watch in the first place. It’s…complicated,” he answered with uncharacteristic hesitance.

“Complicated,” McGee huffed. “Let’s be honest, you and I have never been especially close. And you aren’t exactly given to acts of sentiment, so I have to wonder about your motivations.”

“My motivations?”

McGee decided to come right out and ask the question foremost on his mind.

“Did you give me the watch knowing it would hurt Tony, if he found out?”

“ _What?_ No!” That was one conclusion he’d never expected McGee to come away with. He could see Abby’s handiwork in that idea, and understood exactly why she might think that way. Now he had to try and things right with McGee and Abby _both_. It was too late to do it with Tony, and that was no one’s fault but his.

“The sentiment behind it was sincere. It wasn’t meant to slight Tony, or you,” Gibbs began. “You and the others are my only family now, and I am trying not to make the same mistakes with you, that I made with him.”

“But you _did_ originally plan to give it to Tony?”

“I think subconsciously, I wanted to believe this was a different watch,” Gibbs shrugged helplessly, knowing that made very little sense.

“That’s why you changed the back wasn’t it?” McGee guessed, remembering Abby describing the simple “Son” inscription. “That wasn’t what you wanted me to see, to think that’s how you felt. Because deep down you still think that way about Tony, not me.”

“I think that way about you _both_ , McGee,” Gibbs insisted. “That was kind of the whole idea.”

“But Tony is special,” McGee added. He was okay with that, now that Gibbs affirmed he had his own place in their de facto family.

“Yes,” Gibbs admitted. “At least he _was_.”

Through his gruff affection and approval, Gibbs had become a constant for Tony in a life that, before NCIS, had none. Tony had been a constant for Gibbs too, not that he ever admitted it to the younger man. They had been codependent in many ways, and there were still times he felt Tony’s loss keenly.

He knew Tony had always been sensitive to every subtlety of his mood swings. He’d used that knowledge to distance himself from the one person who’d gotten close enough to him to be able to tell that, while his body might be on the road to recovery after his shooting, his head wasn’t right yet. 

He’d been cold and callous at best, and at worst subjected Tony to unexplained bouts of irrational anger and abuse for months. Every time Gibbs pulled back and froze him out, it left Tony adrift like a ship without its rudder. He ignored every attempt Tony made to press Gibbs to talk and to understand what he’d done. Finally, Tony stopped trying.

Then he took his anger a step too far. The long overdue time came when Tony realized he could steer his own ship just fine, and didn’t need Gibbs to be his rudder. He’d always regret what he’d done to destroy Tony’s loyalty and affection for him.

Seeing Gibbs lost in thought, McGee felt the need to break the silence.

“I’m pretty sure he still is,” he smiled.

“McGee, you know damn well Tony and I haven’t spoken since he left. Family doesn’t do to each other what _I_ did.”

“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t still ask about you. You might get a chance to make it right someday if you stop avoiding him. Tony still visits DC regularly. I’d like to believe you two can get past what happened.”

Gibbs gave a resigned sigh at the reminder of why Tony would be visiting DC. Maybe it was different for the others; Senior rarely spoke of his son, at least not to Gibbs. That was probably how Tony wanted to keep it.

“I just don’t think our differences can be resolved.”

McGee grinned. “Tony being Tony, I’m sure he’d make you work for it, but if you did the work, in the end I think he’d be forgiving. I’ll let you get back to work now. See you tomorrow, Gibbs.”

He turned to leave. He’d gotten the answers he came for, and more. Gibbs’ gift of the watch didn’t have any malicious intent behind it. More than that, it was a misguided attempt not to repeat past mistakes. The fact that Gibbs would even admit so much showed he’d changed.

“McGee, wait!”

He turned back to see Gibbs holding the watch out to him. “You forgot this.”

McGee regarded the watch, knowing he didn’t need or want to have it any longer. Especially knowing that if Tony were to find out, it might put the final nails in the coffin that held the remnants of his and Gibbs’ once seemingly unbreakable bond. Time for him to return the favor and repay Tony’s acts of selflessness.

McGee shook his head. “I’m not the one it was meant for. I never was.” And he was okay with that.

Gibbs frowned. “Tony has a father; he certainly doesn’t need _me_. Not anymore.”

McGee shook his head. “Tony loves his dad, and in his own way Senior loves Tony too. Even so, we both know he was never able to be the dad Tony needed…or wanted,” McGee said meaningfully.

“I’m no father figure to him any longer. How I treated him…some things just can’t be undone.”

“You’ve never been what I’d call an optimist, Gibbs, but think about the man you know. In this case, I think there’s room for hope.”

Gibbs studied the watch and thought about Tony. “Maybe,” he said doubtfully.

  
“What are you thinking?” McGee asked curiously.

“I’m thinking that I’ll always consider Tony family…even if he doesn’t feel the same.”

“So work to change that. Breaking your rule about apologies might be a good place to start, you know.”

Gibbs laughed lightly. “It would definitely surprise him.” In the past, it was usually Tony doing something unexpected, not _him_.

“Keep the watch, Gibbs,” McGee urged. “Put the original back cover on and save it for Tony, as you originally intended.”

McGee looked on, confused at first as Gibbs reached into a cup of small tools on the workbench and retrieved a tiny screwdriver. Gibbs gently removed the recently added back cover of the watch, smiling at the ‘Breathe, Tim’ inscribed there.

“At least take this.” Gibbs held it out to him, and he accepted it with a wide smile. Maybe a jeweler could make it fit on one of his own watches.

“When those babies come,” Gibbs teased, “You’re going to need to remember that more than ever.”

“No doubt,” McGee replied with an answering grin.

~.~

Gibbs sat back on his sofa and considered his father’s old watch. He’d replaced the back and now gazed fondly at the inscription and his father’s birth date. He looked up to the heavens; thinking maybe Jackson was up there rooting him on.

It had taken him days to work himself up to visiting Senior, and ask if Tony’s cellphone number was still the same. Senior gave him a searching look, and after a long moment, it shifted into something he could only interpret as approval.

He’d never allowed himself to consider the possibility that he could make amends with Tony. McGee, in returning his gift, had given him a second chance to do so and he resolved to make use of it. Thanks to Abby’s disclosure and McGee’s encouragement, he saw a glimmer of hope.

He not only saw hope; he’d decided to act on it. He’d reach out to Tony, make the first move toward seeing if their friendship could be salvaged. Tony might tell him to go to hell again. Well, he’d just keep trying until Tony realized he was too important to give up on.

With the watch in one hand and cellphone in the other, he pressed the old speed dial number he’d never removed from his phone. Bracing himself for rejection, he waited to see if his call would be answered. It was.

He swallowed against the lump rising in his throat; he’d halfway expected Tony to hang up on him. After an endless couple of seconds, where he gave Tony the chance to do just that, he spoke.

“Hey, DiNozzo.”

It was a start.

~Finis~


End file.
